you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
