I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
