census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
