Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize