Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
