If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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