Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
