Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize