My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
