i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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