drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
