Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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