He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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