My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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