It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
