you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
