put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
you had me at cake vodka
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
