I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
