Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
