Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
