Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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