ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
