I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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