You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I love you. Go after that dick
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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