Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
