I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
