found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize