whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
