Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just had sex on a roof
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
