who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
