There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
She announced her abortion via fbk
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
