just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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