Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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