Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
