Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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