I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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