YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
