i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize