There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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