She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize