is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
