Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
