I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
