I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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