i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
