Do vagina's smell?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
