i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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