If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
