he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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