My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
