You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize