Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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