Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize