Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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