There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize