i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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